"The moments of true freedom come when you stop giving one single fuck about what other people think or do."
the more I think about that quote (from @freedcreative ) the more I wonder if there is an important distinction between not giving a fuck and completely accepting.
Not giving a fuck I think can have the taste of madness to it - a total disassociation from your own interconnection to the rest of the universe. I don't give fuck because nothing is real but me
As opposed to complete acceptance of what others do/think where you acknowledge those ripples as just as real as your own
I definitely mean pushing back, hard. But I don’t mean becoming a selfish asshole.
I mean coming to wholly reject the idea that your personal worth can be determined by others.
Ironically, resolving to determine self worth autonomously almost certainly increases caring and selflessness.
That’s because the source of caring then comes 100% from personally valuing these actions, not from a sense that others value them.
If something about you doesn’t exist unless other people value it, it’s not really you.
Conversely, if something within you is entirely independent and self sustained, then it’s really you.
Caring what others think and feel should exist as part of empathy and kindness, but never depended on as an external source of worth.
What matters is developing as many aspects of yourself as you can into things that will endure even if absolutely nobody gives you any support or praise for them.
Making decisions about yourself, by yourself. Self determination.
When I use phrases like “really you”, I’m not really trying to focus on a definition of self or consciousness.
What I’m trying to focus on is locus of control. If your worth depends on others, they control you. If it comes from yourself, you control you.
@freedcreative @milofultz The thought that comes to mind is people's sense of self-worth originates when they have needs they cannot fufill on their own. When you become aware your needs rely on others you begin to care about what others think of you.
Not caring is the best answer but it requires also being able to forgo all desires you cannot satisfy without someone's opinion of you factoring into the process
Does that mean you should reject love, cooperation, kindness, or on a more physical level, food, shelter, good health?
But it means you should accept the reality all these things come and go, outside our control. And when you keep reminding of that reality you are more likely to focus on what actually you can control.
But the fear of not gaining, or losing, things that will always inevitably be lost should have its capacity to compromise our locus of control minimized at every possible turn.
In the taoist conception of reality action (and desire in a sense) are part of one's nature and should be accepted.
Kezz seems to be suggesting a focus on what the self wants. Do things in your control for your own satisfaction.
But there can be, as you said, a mismatch between what one wants and what one does
On the one hand, eventually your body will break down and die, this is inevitable. There will also be sickness and injury. These realities have to be accepted.
But on the other hand, decisions we make and things we do control have a flow on effect that indirectly but rapidly influence the body.
My take is that the focus should be on developing the internal, with the knowledge the body will naturally be influenced by internal changes.
“There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs.” — Epictetus
IMO even physical exercise has the primary benefit of strengthening the internal, more than the body itself.
Revel in the marvels of the universe. We are a collective of forward-thinking individuals who strive to better ourselves and our surroundings through constant creation. We express ourselves through music, art, games, and writing. We also put great value in play. A warm welcome to any like-minded people who feel these ideals resonate with them.