@embyr Nice post, and I don't think you should wipe it all out. I'm 13 years older than you and I've seen people do both.
People who iterate and build from their past "mistakes", and people who keep on building new identities from scratch. I don't think there's a better path, but I chose to run with it, and I even tried to document these changes in directions, so others might find some sort of knowledge from that process, and for myself, as to not trace back on my own footsteps.
@embyr If you're diligent with your journaling, in 3-4 years, you will have enough backlog to trace a line from where you come from, to where you are now, and forecast where it might lead you. You can always correct by doing incremental changes, but it's slower than starting new all the time.
@neauoire I am planning on starting some sort of private journal where I write down some of my more messy thoughts in the hopes that every now and then I can gather them into a coherent post. I think it will help me express some of the things that eat at my mind without just letting my presence devolve into a messy stream of consciousness.
@neauoire What got me thinking about this was that I've just gone through an (almost) complete purge. I'm personally pretty happy with that decision now that I have some solid direction in life.
I do think to some extent though the decision was influenced by seeing how others have represented themselves and feeling like I was messy in contrast. To what extent am I contributing to that cycle, and is it even a bad thing?
@embyr It always looks more uniform and organized from the outside, it's easier to notice the differences that sticks out when you're looking at your own body of works.
Enjoy the calms that come when things feel settled and solid, but be flexible enough to change at a moment's notice when you later realize that you didn't have your shit figured out as much as you thought ;)
@neauoire @embyr thank you both for sharing these thoughts! i've done a wipe, and it seems i tend to want to do it whenever i feel confident for a while about my "new self and purpose". several times i've wanted or needed to go back to what i thought i had left behind.
i find it funny that recently i'm thinking in doing yet another wipe... but for the moment, after noticing the pattern, i'm deciding to run with all this, not starting from scratch. let's see how that goes :)
@neauoire i wasn't!
when you said above that you tried to document those changes in directions, how did you do it / where can one see-read about them?
it's getting clear now it'd be good for me to finally read the meditations you tend to recommend :)
@neauoire yes! the first time i didn't get it. the second time i was looking through the tracker file, decoding the values and trying to make sense of them.
i always assume the lines in the tracker.html page have to do with those values, but haven't really analyzed them (or seen the code)
i guess i wonder how do you calculate (and show/display?) your overall trends in a way thay inform your decisions.
i see! i think for me this was the missing element to get how your system works for you :)
thanks for sharing
@embyr In my case I found that I do micro wipes every few years without really caring about it. The wipe is actually a part of the journey and it’s rare that a full wipe happens, there’s often a little something left. It can be visible or just part of your self.
@embyr coming late to this post but I think burying and moving on are not entirely the same thing.
Devine mentioned their website and journal - a mix of continually present work (they journal) and stuff put on the shelf (old work)
I am sure there is more that is private, but there is a history there.
I think the more you respect yourself the less you will want to wipe everything. Change, yes, but not throw it all the way.
Speaking as someone who has thrown it all away a few times.
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