I just realised what it is that I really like about this place.
I initially thought it was mostly because of shared interest with people here, but recently my interests changed dramatically and I still wanted to come back.
Now I see it’s something much more fundamental. People here actually listen to each other. Like, properly.
Everyone pays close attention to what others have said and they do their very best to provide thoughtful discourse. And that is something we all need much more of.
@freedcreative definitely good goals to listen and be heard, and thoughtfully and kindly engage.
Glad you made it back, by the way! Always happy to see your thoughts on my TL.
@greyor Thanks greyor!
@freedcreative Very well said, friend.
@freedcreative A lot of the web now is always content taken out of their context, it's so hard to map what is going on because people don't really exist over time. I find here, that I kindda can keep a mental map of where people are coming from, and where they each want to go. And taking that stuff into account when I talk with anyone.
@neauoire That’s true, with feeds all shifted up algorithmically it’s a totally different interaction than here.
@freedcreative yup. In a way, the disagreements I've had on here have differentiated this space even more from other spaces than the agreements. I've been able to have disagreements and misunderstandings with people without hurt feelings or broken relationships because we really listened to each other and really talked, trying in earnest to *make* points and not to *score* points.
I think that's only possible because we're not talking about disingenuous and fundamentally violent "disagreements" regarding people's inherent value and right to exist, which is just exhausting and unproductive. With that disingenuous 101 crap out of the way we are able to have actually meaningful disagreements and debates when they arise.
@ljwrites Right! An actual disagreement is really a logic problem that ought to be solvable through gathering and examining evidence.
And if both parties earnestly want to discover the truly optimal solution to the problem they should be able to work together on it, even if they start out with differing hypothesis.
@freedcreative People can actually... talk to each other?? Who'd have thunk?
But yeah, once there's a real, good-faith disagreement I break out the big guns, carefully defining words and focusing on understanding what is being said learning, not on being "right." It makes all the difference and I wish it were a more common experience.
@ljwrites It can be such a difficult thing to do well, particularly with an emotionally charged topic.
I fear I may have let myself down yesterday talking to a friend who out of nowhere started expressing his anti-mask sentiments. I’d just come back from seeing my Dad in the hospital, (who has dementia), and about 15 unsuccessful attempts to explain why he had limited visitors. So my ability to calmly make my case was certainly strained. 🙁
@freedcreative I hope you'll cut yourself some slack on that--you don't owe your time & energy to everyone expressing an unreasonable opinion, even if they are a friend, particularly when you're drained yourself. :( Sending wishes that your dad will be safe.
@ljwrites Thanks L.J., only after reading that did I realise I really needed to hear that. ❤️
@freedcreative It's very easy to get caught up in the needs of others, and that shows a generous soul, but you won't be doing much good for anyone running ragged caught up in every current! Your own well needs to be filled before you can give to others. Be kind to yourself 💚
@ljwrites Very well put. Thank you
@freedcreative thanks for your thoughts. I really appreciate that about this community.
@freedcreative That is so nice of you to mention it. I feel the same.
That's something we've noticed also. Its the same with the Tor and I2P networks in general. People don't assume anything, they assume "good faith" and go from there.
In a year, we've had only two toxic interactions.
@freedcreative I like how unhinged my TL can be. I like how the fedi is unfiltered. Although I just stick to my local feed. #openweb I'm still getting my head around. I use mastodon as a curator of knowledge and facility of learning. I came searching an open yet privste social media portal I know I'm just toe deep in this wonderful open community project. Been here for a month or so.
@freedcreative heck yeah we do! So, what changed in your interests?
@utahcon When I first came to the fedi, free / libre software and online privacy was at the forefront of my mind. Freedom in the digital space basically.
Then I had a huge health issue that put me in a spot where I couldn’t use my hands and so had to switch to voice control on proprietary platforms. I had to drop almost all my libre software and privacy protections virtually overnight.
I’m much better now but still depend on the proprietary gear.
@utahcon I learned that my issues were largely caused by nervous system dysfunction and that the means to overcome it was to build conscious control over my nervous system response. In other words, I pretty much have to become a zen master, gradually rewire my nervous system, and develop a high level of control over my response to high stress situations.
So although I had to give up my goals for digital freedom, my number one aim is now psychological freedom.
@freedcreative Interesting insight.
Merveilles is a community project aimed at the establishment of new ways of speaking, seeing and organizing information — A culture that seeks augmentation through the arts of engineering and design. A warm welcome to any like-minded people who feel these ideals resonate with them.