meditation log. 

I found a guided meditation video I liked and have been trying it the last few days. Problem with this I think is that I find myself trying to listen to what’s been said and thinking about that instead of my breath.

I suppose this is usual as it’s still early days but I find the experience of someone softly telling me to breathe royally distracts.

Also I keep trying to “pay attention to my breathing” but I’m not really sure that that means, if I am or how I should.

meditation log. 

I felt more this morning that I managed to focus on my breath and was more able to notice my mind wandering and focus back.

Still miles to go because my mind wanders a lot and the focus is hard but it feels like an improvement.

Not sure guided is for me though, i find it too distracting.

Might work on some simple controlled breathing techniques.

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meditation log. 

Been doing the 3 minutes guided every morning but don’t feel like I properly start to focus until the session ends. Still also finding the guide distracting.

Tomorrow morning I am going to set a 5 min timer and do away with the guide. I’ll go through the same routine but try it solo. Hopefully the extra 2 minutes will give me a bit of time where I’m focused better.

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meditation log. 

The five minutes without the guidance seem easier to concentrate through. Still have a hard time focusing on the sensation of breathing.

Feel like I am thinking about observing my breathing rather than just observing it. This I feel is the big hurdle I need to climb over. Managing to observe the sensation without observing my trying to observe it.

I bought a book but I don’t know how much use that will be. I feel like this is the kind of thing you just have to work out.

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meditation log. 

So this morning I set a timer for 10 minutes and resolved to meditate that long. So close!

I had a nagging thought that I had not set the timer and it got so persistent that I relented and checked... one minute left on the clock!

I am annoyed with myself because I knew I had set it and I should have let the thought go. I also feel like I learned something from that experience though so thats good.

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meditation log. 

So I did the full 10 without any temptation to check the clock.

I did similar to when I lock the door to stop the nagging thought about if I started it. When I lock the door I stamp my foot three times; that way instead of thinking “did I lock the door” I remember stamping my foot. When I started the timer I tapped my nose with a finger and shut my eyes.

Not only were my thoughts slower this morning but I noticed a few gaps between them.

Counting breaths worked well for me.

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meditation log. 

One thing this has bought up again is how bad my posture is. My back really feels the strain in trying to sit with my back straight for this long.

It is something I have been meaning to work on for ages and maybe this is the push I needed to fix it.

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meditation log. 

Been doing 10 each morning consistently. What seems to work best for me is sitting and counting my breathing. I actually breathe more naturally like that it feels because when I try observing the breath too much I start thinking about the actual act of breath.

I also tried laying instead of sitting and it didn’t work so well fo me. Felt too much like going to bed. I have resolved to sitting on the floor with my back supported by a sofa arm.

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meditation log. 

Sitting like that kinda gives me a spot and position that isn’t associated with anything else so I guess there is no baggage that come with it to ignore.

Still a constant low level of thought going on with a few gaps here and there but I am kinda trying to let the thoughts go and not engage with them.

Appears to be working, I feel a bit calmer in the morning for sure.

Thanks everyone for your support and advice. This is quite a rewarding adventure.

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meditation log. 

Not so great today. Things have gotten a bit more stressful here the last few days and this morning it shows.

Could not really turn off a stream of thought at all. Could not really focus.

I do feel like the meditation is having some positive effect as I don’t feel as wound up or angry as I normally would bu this but that’s a hard thing to quantify.

Recently I feel I have a longer tether than I think I normally do, but again it’s hard to know for sure.

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meditation log. 

I’m not really an angry person but we all have moments and I feel like this are less pronounced.

Again that’s situational isn’t it.

meditation log. 

The last few days I hadn’t been able to focus at all. Then suddenly this morning cleared, well quietened down, again and I was able to focus again.

It’s funny how this comes in peaks and troughs.

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Merveilles is a community project aimed at the establishment of new ways of speaking, seeing and organizing information — A culture that seeks augmentation through the arts of engineering and design. A warm welcome to any like-minded people who feel these ideals resonate with them.