I’d always felt I was lacking in foundational knowledge and skill in programming, but I keep coming back to it, both in work and as a practice, and I want to let go of deep-seated fears that I don’t know enough, or I can’t do enough, including the fear of people finding out I don’t know x, y, and z. Not knowing is not a bad thing, and learning when (and how) to ask for help is an even better thing.

So these are things I am currently learning, and re-learning. Hello! 👋

I think it’s apt that I make new introduction posts every now and then; as I change and what I believe and value change…

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@knights I think that no one really knows what the hell they're doing when it comes to programming. Surround yourself with talented curious people, who don't pretend to have the objectively best way to do any one thing, it'll keep you sane, and we accepting that we're all fumbling around with this tech is important to find new novel ways to do things.

@neauoire That’s so true! I’ve just always been in a mindset that everyone knows so much more than me, and I guess I came from a background where if you didn’t know anything you were berated for it, and I carried that with me. I am finding that Merveilles is such a great community for this, and I’m grateful to be interacting with people who are honest about not knowing, or are willing to help you sort yourself out!

@neauoire And to be honest tech can be such a toxic environment, there’s a lot of gatekeeping and brogrammers, and that’s why it makes me shrink and shy away from asking the hard (and even “easy”) questions.

@knights @neauoire Hey! This is all true and hard to work through. Just wanted to say that I feel like merveilles is a great support place for this, as is The Recurse Center. There's lots of really horrible places to program (paid and otherwise). There's also lots of lovely ones out there, they just tend to get less publicity IME. Don't let the brogrammers get you down.

@jcmorrow Thanks for this! I did give a shot at applying at The Recurse Center and really liked all the positive comments from women and WOC who attended, but I didn’t get in— I’ll be trying again!

@knights You should definitely try again, and let me know when you do!

@knights @neauoire Also, a fun story about asking the "easy" questions. Last summer I found myself asking "how is it possible that computers make sound?" Like, drawing pictures on computers seems somewhat straightforward to me. You have RGB numbers in an array, and I'm comfortable with the idea that someone else has figured out how to turn those numbers into colors. But how does one get a computer to beep? I wouldn't know where to start"

@knights @neauoire . This led me down *so* many rabbit holes (DAWs, ORCA, synths, modular synths, etc.), but it's such an *easy* question if you don't think about it too hard.

@jcmorrow Ahhh the simplest questions can be actually simple! This is awesome!

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Merveilles is a community project aimed at the establishment of new ways of speaking, seeing and organizing information — A culture that seeks augmentation through the arts of engineering and design. A warm welcome to any like-minded people who feel these ideals resonate with them.